Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A new moon eclipses breaking dawn

Fans of the Series Twilight keep off this post and no offense is intended. Most of this post is just meant as a way to kill boredom.

What you can infer from reading Twilight series.

1. Vampires are described in a complete way by various combinations of "beauty", "perfect", "graceful", "dazzling" etc. In fact if we were to cut out these adjectives, the vampires in Twilight series wouldn't exist.

2. Contrary to what SM mentioned in the first book or so, talented vampires are very very common as is proved in Breaking Dawn. In fact you could be the most powerful vampire if your most powerful skill is being depressed.

!!! Spoiler Alert !!!

3. If you're entangled in a love triangle of some sort and you don't get the girl; don't worry, just hang around till your (ex)lover has a kid, there is a very real possibility that you might fall into love with the baby. Ms. Meyer found a once and for all solution for ending a love triangle that spanned over two entire fully blown Twilight novels with this idea.

4. 700 pages of Breaking Dawn goes in the buildup of a Vampire War that never takes place. 

Things that you get to read in Breaking Dawn

5. SM does put a lot of research in to her works. Biologists might feel offended by the fact that Werewolves have 24 chromosomes (while Google search reveals otherwise; apes might as well be their distant cousins for all we know) and the fact that an average of chromosome pairs are produced in the progeny (Seriously isn't gene theory that simple?).

6. Contrary to popular claims; Twi-light does NOT mean light in Twitter, in fact if anything it refers to the darkness plaguing the Internet forums of late.

7.Bella is an ordinary girl, your average girl next door, and she does not deserve some perfect vampire, over 1000 pages or three and a half novels of the Twilight series revolve around this one core idea.

[In the Near Future]

Comments on the Twilight Series

Movie Spin-offs based on the Twilight

P.S Sincerely hope Buffy saves us from this menace

P.P.S No offense is intended to anyone by means of this post.It is just meant as a fun way of looking at things

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Mind Your Language (Part 2: The Desi Version)

It has been over a month since my vacation started and my new friends Boredom and Sleep deserted me leading me to make this post. When it comes to English, Indians add their own unique flavor to it, just like Manchurian which doesn't have anything Chinese in it except may be its name.(For people who don't know what Manchurian is, it is a gourmet specialty offered in most Indian restaurants under the Chinese category, while it has nothing remotely Chinese in it. It can be roughly described as a main course of oil, with a modest combination of cauliflower and garlic on the side.)  While my style of posting has become cliched of late, it is something that you have to contend with when my friend boredom deserts me.

The following are some phrases which find usage only in India.

What’s your good name?
This is a question one you may encounter only in India. Native English speakers may find the usage of good before name puzzling, but it is there because, in India, we believe that everyone is baptized with a perfect name and no name is considered bad, although some people do end up hating their names as your good name is something that you are stuck with for life. So retorting this question with give me a bad name, may not be a good idea.

Out of Station
This is a phrase which means out of town in India. This phrase came into existence because James Watt wrote in his will that he shall be honored with a phrase in English language relating to the steam engine. Indians decided to honor this by considering every town as a Station, the way the railways regard it to be.

The actual reason for the use of this phrase goes to the days of the East India company where officers were posted on particular stations.

Give an Exam
Teachers give exams to students, but in India, it is somewhat the other way around. Here students give exams (to teachers?).It is because we have a very strong give and take policy here. The validity of the above statement can be proved from the following statements : 
Students take knowledge from teacher, they give it back in examinations. 
Thus students give exams.

While there are a lot of phrases that are unique to India the above three are my favorites. In an attempt to shorten my posts I am concluding here.

P.S On an entirely different note you might want to read the first part of Mind Your Language here.