Monday, January 11, 2010

Tweet! Tweet ! I thought I taw a putty tat

Statutory warning: People who are annoyed by the letter Tw stay off the post.
Disclaimer: Contents of this post may be deemed as offensive and improper by many of the virtual community, stop reading here after you have read this post, others continue reading.

The process of miniaturising has always fascinated mankind and and blogging found its new avatar in form of microblogs and thus begins the tale of twitter. Twitter is a site that prompts you to tell what you're doing now (if you can do that in 140 characters or less ). 'Bigger is Better' is a thing of the past 'Small is beautiful' is the catchphrase now. Guiding you through this post will be sylvester whose intimate association with tweets makes him one of the pioneers of this subject.The following is the post as describedby sylvester while solving the tweety mystery.

The Origin: If we reverse the word twitter we get retwit which on applying Robert Langdon algorithm splits it into re -tweet which is one of the commonest activities in twitter, if you can't find something to tweet you can always retweet what others tweet. Other facts include the second most used word in twitter is "I", which probably means people are mostly interested in offering subjective opinions on matters of world concern.Some skeptics though are of the opinion that twitter is the best site around, to promote narcissism

Just like nissin's cup noodles revolutionised the concept of fast food, blogging never found a faster way than this. If you still haven't created an account in any of the microblogging sites, create one immediately as the world is waiting to know your status. Update your status as regularly as possible, so the next time when total strangers your friends logon to their accounts they will see only your updates, imagine the popularity boost you get by doing this. As is found in the website you can update your status with anything, so you can always update with say “had breakfast in the morning” , “woke up late” . 2 tweets already for starts.

Follow every random profile you click at. Always sign of tweeting leaving twitter. Now this will add an additional tweet to the already interesting things you have tweeted so far. As the International journal on twitosphere reveals 10% of the people are responsible for about 90% of volume of tweets on twitter. Joining that glamourous group would be a privilege.

Learn the twitter jargon or twargon as the twitterati suggests (twiterrati .n : a list of twitterers, whatever that means , from the twictionary, the twitter dicitonary.
Make tw key your friend. Use it like water, preciously.

While in twitter do as the tweeple do, is the principle behind tweeting in twitter. The essential twitter jargon (twivernacular was banned due to the amount of characters it consumed) consists of adding twi prefix before anything.The origin of this probably attributes to the fact that tweety being a bird couldn't pronounce everything clearly as she was affected by the T virus. A modified Twi virus started affecting human beings and thus was born the land of twitosphere. A twutopia of infinite possibilities. Here we explore the common ones, though fully understanding how, where and why to use them is a question of great difficulty to answer. The following is an excerpt from the International dictionary of twitosphere.
tweeple:People in twitter
tweet-dropping: eavesdropping on someone else’s home page in friends mode. This is how people get famous on twitter, since most people do not block their profile it is relatively easy to tweet-drop on others conversation.
tweetsult: Insult in twitter, as experts say this greatly diminishes the magnitude of insult as it is cut down to a limit of 140 characters or fewer.
tweetup: when twitterers meet in person – a Twitter meet up. This is one twitter jargon (twargon) that messes up the whole concept of english language, since nearly everybody you know might be a tweeter, every time you meet a person you're tweeting up, whatever that means.
twittcrastination: avoiding action while twittering, procrastination enabled by Twitter use.The act of procrastinating never found a better reason than this.
twitteritas: women who play with their twitters. Twitter is an excellent place for a twidates where every conversation is only 140 characters long, this also greatly helps in tweak-ups which are break ups in twitter.(word still pending approval in the twitterati, thought tweeting it might solve the problem)
twitterness: a person’s contribution to the twitosphere.
twilliteration: (To be official soon, tweet this to attain popularity of this term)Alliteration in twitter. eg.
How many tweets could the tweety bird tweet if a tweety bird could tweet tweets?(Not exactly a tongue twister but the answer is 17, I happen to be an expert on this)
tweeted by John tweets using birdfeeder


Doesn't prefixing characters to an already constrained character limit sound nonsense?
Learning twargon is essential for survival in twitter, about the word limit, one can always cut down the letters in most english words, we don't have to post according to the grammatic rules of english language, should we?

Ted: Another popular technique is the use of ellipses which is a commonplace in social networking, this gives a sense of an incomplete feel...


[1] 'Proceedings on the international tweetup on twitter', tweeted by twitterati
[2] How to prefix tw before anything, the twictionary
[3] 'How I met your mother?' by Ted

P.S :This post stops here, please don't twispam me...

P.P.S:This style of posting is getting too cliche'd, will stop soon. Also due to the vast amount of new words in the twictionary the spellcheck had to be disabled.
E & OE

P.P.P.S:If you really like this post and a user of twitter, tweet this post, otherwise create an account and then tweet this post.

P.P.P.P.S:This is one P.S too much, I know, the actual post ends here.


  1. Hilarious post- enjoyed it immensely! The twitosphere deserves nothing less- it is but just an inane concept of social networking in a ridiculously brief form, something that bored people like Mr Tharoor enjoy using to stir up public sentiments. I have an account myself; I hardly ever visit it. Zero tweets is what my history will show. Proud of you Four, for teaching the Tweeting community a lesson.

  2. U know your art and u excel at it...Witty..really witty...Enjoyed it

  3. hahah damn funny....I hardly use twitter and am still a babe in the woods...You have to teach me to twitter one of these days :)

  4. @mK agree with you, there is no point in telling the world that you woke up late in the morning...

    @Nish thanks

    @Lazy Pineapple
    When it comes to twitter I'm kind of lost in the woods myself, hence this post, so I may not be your perfect guru