Sunday, September 20, 2009


Guidelines to the perfect social networking

Social networking seems to be the coolest thing around these days. It allows one to stay in touch with friends and meet exciting new people from every walk of life. While there is no recorded documentation of MYL Theory, it is seen everywhere on your wall, your page, even on your mobile. Though this post can never describe something like the wind completely we may be able to just take a sneak peek into what is one of the universal laws governing the other half of the world.

Social Networking sites are developing fast these days. Sites like maspace ,fb are used by millions. Besides having a wonderful wall and many sharing options there are some killer applications. It is suspected that many of these involve really complex algorithms to actually serve its great purpose. For instance applications like fiend of the day is the best, it chooses from your list the best person who can possibly guide you through the day. This is nothing compared applications like your crush or your future wedding bliss, many dating services have supposedly given up their jobs considering that one can find their perfect partner through this utility. The actual codes of this applications are really long some even employing the best cryptographic techniques there is, it is even speculated by fans that the codes were written by a 5th generation bot, so that accuracy is right on. Some skeptics though still maintain that all that these applications do are, reply like a five year old if you ask a really inquisitory question.

Article 81A :Of Posts and Posting (a.k.a The Neo-lingual paradigm)
It is of primary importance that you get accepted in your social network. A typical posting on the wall by really cool dudes takes the following form

“2day i lyk had br3lfast at ma hOME in the morn3n.OMG THAT”S LYK SO K000000L”- posted at 2:30pm by McooL
Daemon commented on this at 2:32 pm

“Ur ROCKIINN MANN…lol LOL” – posted at 2:35pm by lifescoolDUDE
Rig likes this.

Matt Pery took the personality test and found his perfect love.Take this quiz and find yours

“WHAT are u doing anywayz?What are u lyk R3tR3d??” posted at 3:42am by whoisthis

If the above posts don’t make any sense to you, then your English is probably the source of trouble, try completing about a trillion personality tests and read about 1000 posts on your wall and comeback again later. The history of the language written above is still in doubted. It can only be understood by really cool people having an IQ of the order of 190 or so, which is generally the case of most users. If you think that this was just a random combination of using caps lock and num keys coupled up with a broken language, then you’re heavily mistaken. Even advanced etymologists can only speculate how this language came about. Initially spellcheck was a feature that characterized posts, however due to heavy pressure from a great number of users this was later disabled. So when during registration if you are asked a question like what is your language? it is a trick question and only the selected few can answer it.

Article 96B: Vocabulary Redefined

If you’re thinking that you cannot get your ideas across fully even though you attended the basic English courses then probably your vocabulary is impeding your progress. Learning the social networking jargon may not be an easy thing though it appears like poorly constructed language wherein singulars and plurals are switched(eg. newayz /anyway), caps being used at wrong places and punctuations used everywhere. Let me tell you this the developers of this language gave a lot of thought into it while developing. It was originally created when a monkey sat on a typewriter. Though if you want to flaunt in front of your peers you might give typing on broken keyboard with your eyes closed a shot, although it may not work everytime.

Article :(.-.. --- .-..:)

If you’re a total newbie at social networking and don’t know how to get recognized then you have come to the right place here. If you have nothing to post then you can always comment on others with .-.. --- .-.. (translated LOL in Morse Code).If nothing is going your way and you are desperately searching for a break then you have lol to the rescue.Even if the post makes no sense to you and you’re unsure of what it means you can always complement it with lol, chances are that the guy at the receiving end is a newbie too and thus all is well though this makes no sense to anybody. Also there are always the smiley symbols, if you still have to learn smiley code then you can always try some random combinations of braces and full stops.It is speculated that lol was created when a user misinterpreted the slang lol(lots of love) and as of the present only the few echelon members at top social networking sites know the actual meaning of this abbreviation(or a shorthand?) while the true meaning is still in doubt newbies in this world of social networking can always try to sound cool by just about using lol anywhere.

Well these are just some glints into the great MYL Theory, while the entire documentation is still awaiting completion. Btw Good Luck with creating a great profile at the great social networking sites.

P.S: My keyboard was working perfectly fine, and neither the caps key nor the numeric keys had any problems and no I did not attempt to post this blog from my mobile phone

UPDATE: For the comic fans out there here is a link to the XKCD comic strip that aptly describes the situation


  1. LOL. tHis PoSt waS kiNd of CooOlll. bUt hard FOr a dUDe liKe me tO unnErStaNd.LOLL...

    On a serious note, it was really good. The funny part is that universities are considering to hold exams where the spellings are not necessary. Soon we will see exams in which Shakespeare and such classics will be written in the sms language.

    Romeo- Yo Julie, wassup.
    Juliet- (ROFL) dude u rock. Oh no, dad cming, TTYL.

  2. Yes it is a disheartening fact to see such a beautiful language being butchered like this.Well With the advent of IM this is to be expected, GOD Save The Queen...

  3. Abhi, this post was really nice. But I cant agree with ur views completely. "Nadodumbol Naduve Odanam". I think it is better to accept this as a new language and nt bother abt the rules of the conventional languages.. It is some sort of a freedom from the rules binding us, right?

  4. My foot. This blasted youth lingo gets on my nerves everytime I have to chat with some Gen-X idiot. Amidst all this artificiality and superficial display of coolness, I can say that I maintain my own identity, and speak only in proper and complete English, an abbreviation hardly ever escaping my lips.
    That said, a superb post man, even bettering your previous one. Never seen anyone create some wonderful analogies and explain things in such an unorthodox manner like you. Keep 'em coming, Four.

  5. Hey Analyst...You have LIKE shredded the subject to itsybitsy pieces, mm X mm...WOW!! You have some analytical skill here! Half way through your post I felt like you have made a case study here on Social Networking here that will surely score an A+..Compared to your blogging expertise I have a looooong way to go!

  6. @mK Well I know that you always talk in complete sentences, even in IM which is almost an impossiblity I must say

    I'm no blogging expert but I love sarcasm, over a point of time however this style of posting gets too clichéd and I have to start looking for alternatives. Thanks for dropping by...

  7. Funny and a true fact! The lingo is ruling and has been ruling for quite a while now. Nothing can be done to stop it, on the other hand, not everyone are used to sms texting or internet. So, the traditional English remains :)

    Lingo's are fun, to an certain extent.

  8. nice, you have pretty much wrote everything I had in my mind about the chat lingo... I just cant stand it!... I am the sort of a person who SMSes in grammatically correct english... so no lols and wtfs for me :)

  9. btw... I might use your morse code of LOL one of these days.. I hope you wont mind...

  10. @Rockstar Sid
    Lingo's fun at some point, but I hate unneeded capitalization and stuff like misplaced punctuations and all, the least you can do is write something that is readable isn't it...

    Sure use the morse code... btw might I ask what kind of communication you are intending with the use of morse code;)

  11. LOL ;-))

    Okay, I honestly didn't get most of it. Sheesh, now I'm not just old, but uncool too.


  12. *ouch* skip the comic part was the post too hard to get too??
    This post was supposed to bash out the new lingo used in facebook and all, I guess I need to write more clearly from now on... anyway thanks for the feedback...

  13. Interesting. Subtlety amusing. It reminds me of British humor haha. (or should I say... lol). I do love facebook!
    --PS...I'm from "we love comments" from the "Fav Post" thread. thanks for stopping by and posting a great blog!