So it has come to this ...

It has been nearly an year since I posted something, other than my one true follower, others must know that radical changes have taken place in the Life & Times of yours truly, for one I'm not in college anymore, a graduand now, as Wikipedia puts it. My culinary options are not restricted to Gobi Manchurian*  anymore. In the past year life has been partly nomadic. I have relocated about 7 times in the past 7 months in Bangalore and I'm actually working now, like for real. Of course this does not explain why the 2 year sabbatical from blogger.

Originally this post was meant to be an elegy to blogger, I thought of kicking blogger and moving to something else, posterous, tumbler, Wordpress. Well at the moment though that might be unlikely, (and blogger has undergone a lot of changes since I last posted). I promise I'll update something soon.



P.S Title inspired by XKCD comic

* Gobi Manchurian: A dish served from kitchens of Isengrad which consists mostly of questionably coloured vegetables & cauliflower bathed in oil

The end of an era (The R-day Chronicle)

I have been trying to post for a long time now. So this post is just to break the silence, and hopefully paves way for better posts in the future. I will, in this post present a hyperbole version of the registration process at my college which is a fascinating test of one's patience.

 Yesterday 2-3 days ago the registration for my last semester at college was complete.Our college has a registration process, which increases in its complexity and an obvious increase in waiting time every year. There is also an increase in paperwork, which in this computer era, one would expect to decrease. However we are not done with just paperwork, the little on line part in the registration process, presents a problem in form of overloaded college servers which were carefully designed a long time ago with no consideration on the possibility of an increased intake in the future.There are also some 3-4 queues one has to wait/break in order to get all the formalities done.  

On the R-day (which marks an individual's victory over the well designed administrative procedure at college), I got up early, to conquer the queues and thus saving myself from the unlawful wastage of time, though it is something that I do in front of my computer where it seems strangely justified. This time there was a different problem though, I had to change my elective course because the guy who takes down all the notes had changed his. 7 semesters of almost no note-taking means it is easier to switch  an elective course and go through a longer registration procedure rather than  listening every class, where yd great lengths of time could be spent dozing off. Strangely I find that in courses where I sleep a lot I perform better than the ones which I listen too. Probably my subconscious mind has better attention capacity than the conscious mind, where I am generally too lazy to think of a solution. On the R-day, there were 2 long queues to go before the last registration finally gets done.(I had completed the others much ahead of time saving me from the last time rush) The first one was for getting a token number issued for the second queue (supposedly purposely as the whole point of a token issue is to avoid a  queue) which kind of determines how long you would have to wait. However the wait wasn't as antagonising as expected because the second queue wasn't monitored all that well, well they never checked the tokens numbers issued, so it meant a free entry whenever someone didn't show up. I got in about 100 numbers early, and thus on 12pm, December 27th the last administrative formality at my college was complete. There are still tales left to narrate on the copious amount of time spent just to get a signature on the identity card. Looking back the registration procedure  is probably a small challenge one has to go through in order to counter the bigger ones during the semester. I guess I should stop writing here, it is 3 am, nothing good happens when you blog after 2 am...

Procrastination 101 : A prelude

For more details read the course Procrastination 101 here

I have to re-quote Stephenie Meyer again here, I am the most creative when I procrastinate.



Wednesdays are meant to be wordless in blogosphere, so I am stopping my post here.

A Versatile Tag

Ambiguous Geek at lizardspockexpansion.blogspot.com gave me this award. Apparently I am very versatile as the award says.

Having said that, awards/tags in blogosphere in general come with stringent conditions to promote narcissism, which if not followed might lead to one being expelled from the blogosphere. It is the blogosphere way of forwarding messages that say pass this on to 15 people or very bad luck may fall on you. This award comes with a condition that you must mention 7 random things about yourself and also pass this on to 15 other versatile bloggers.I have already done the 7 tag here and I don't want to reveal the narcissistic contents of I, me, myself once again.

Now for the tag, Varsh at Food for thought, tagged me with an interesting tag called 'My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes' wherein you are to list 10 or more things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to and tag atleast twelve blogging friends to do the same. You have to be truthful as far as possible and as far as Blogosphere goes, Et fictum fit factum (True Lies?)

1. I read the entire Twilight series and that if anything constitutes as a sin against gender stereotype, a sin against literature rather. Reading New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn is what one would call an ordeal. btw check out my post on twilight here.

2. I am a big fan of female fronted metal/ symphonic metal and almost nobody I know of (in person that is) ever heard of or listen to the bands I listen to.(Epica, NW, WT, LC fans anybody?)

3. I am the most creative when I procrastinate. Btw Stephenie Meyer said that and we all know how creative the Twilight series turned out to be. Time is just a concept and always the first thing to fail, no wonder I procrasinate, for the uninitiated, there is a course called Procrastination 101 here.

4.I am an expert chef. In fact I plan to publish a book called ' Chow-a-ton: My failed attempts at making instant noodles'

5.I am flimsy with things involving a lot of dexterity. I am flimsy with stuff in general.

6. I am really scared of spiders, eight legged freaks meant to scare people.

7. I love day dreaming. 

8. I watched over 25 chick flicks over the last three years (excluding bollywood where overly cliched chick flicks are the preffered genre) However it is only a small percentage of the total number of movies I watched over the last three years (250 and still counting, how is that for waste of time), now you guys know how I procrastinate.

9. I hate oranges and synthetic Orange juice duplicates  and the fact is I hated orange juice even when I was a child. I know this doesn't count as a sin against gender stereotypes, more of a sin against humanity, I guess. As they say, Old loves, they die hard .

10.I suck at making lists which ask for people's strengths or weaknesses

Of all my sins against gender stereotypes, the one that strikes me as the worst is making this list of sins against gender stereotypes. 

And now the award as well as the tag of my crimes against gender stereotypes goes to:

1. the meek kaiser at I solemnly swear I am up to no good

2. g2 at gtoosphere

3. Journomuse at Wordy Sketches

4. Judy Balan at I bullshit because I can 

5. Nish at loosely a loser

6. Nalini Hebbar at Open Mind

7.Purba at A-musing

8.Sweta at the dissapearing caravan

9.tbr at tbr-tangential

10. Tiffany at stylish chatterboxing

11. Kate at Beat up Boots

12. Kris at Because or Why Not

13. Andrew at What about free will

14. Deepti Richa at Laaf at life

15. Risha at You can read me anything

And thanks Varsh for the tag and A. geek for the award. Consider yourself tagged and/or awarded

P.S The unedited version of the versatile blogger award is here. The image edit was just a futile attempt at image manipulation.

P.P.S Due respects to Epica and their album The Divine Conspiracy, and the Nightwish album Once where I took most of the one liners for the posts and the latin.

A new moon eclipses breaking dawn

Fans of the Series Twilight keep off this post and no offense is intended. Most of this post is just meant as a way to kill boredom.

What you can infer from reading Twilight series.

1. Vampires are described in a complete way by various combinations of "beauty", "perfect", "graceful", "dazzling" etc. In fact if we were to cut out these adjectives, the vampires in Twilight series wouldn't exist.

2. Contrary to what SM mentioned in the first book or so, talented vampires are very very common as is proved in Breaking Dawn. In fact you could be the most powerful vampire if your most powerful skill is being depressed.

!!! Spoiler Alert !!!

3. If you're entangled in a love triangle of some sort and you don't get the girl; don't worry, just hang around till your (ex)lover has a kid, there is a very real possibility that you might fall into love with the baby. Ms. Meyer found a once and for all solution for ending a love triangle that spanned over two entire fully blown Twilight novels with this idea.

4. 700 pages of Breaking Dawn goes in the buildup of a Vampire War that never takes place. 

5. SM does put a lot of research in to her works. Biologists might feel offended by the fact that Werewolves have 24 chromosomes (while Google search reveals otherwise; apes might as well be their distant cousins for all we know) and the fact that an average of chromosome pairs are produced in the progeny (Seriously isn't gene theory that simple?).

6. Contrary to popular claims; Twi-light does NOT mean light in Twitter, in fact if anything it refers to the darkness plaguing the Internet forums of late.

7.Bella is an ordinary girl, your average girl next door, and she does not deserve some perfect vampire, over 1000 pages or three and a half novels of the Twilight series revolve around this one core idea.

Comments on the Twilight Series

Movie Spin-offs based on the Twilight

P.S Sincerely hope Buffy saves us from this menace

P.P.S No offense is intended to anyone by means of this post.It is just meant as a fun way of looking at things

Mind Your Language (Part 2: The Desi Version)

It has been over a month since my vacation started and my new friends Boredom and Sleep deserted me leading me to make this post. When it comes to English, Indians add their own unique flavor to it, just like Manchurian which doesn't have anything Chinese in it except may be its name.(For people who don't know what Manchurian is, it is a gourmet specialty offered in most Indian restaurants under the Chinese category, while it has nothing remotely Chinese in it. It can be roughly described as a main course of oil, with a modest combination of cauliflower and garlic on the side.)  While my style of posting has become cliched of late, it is something that you have to contend with when my friend boredom deserts me.

The following are some phrases which find usage only in India.

What’s your good name?

This is a question one you may encounter only in India. Native English speakers may find the usage of good before name puzzling, but it is there because, in India, we believe that everyone is baptized with a perfect name and no name is considered bad, although some people do end up hating their names as your good name is something that you are stuck with for life. So retorting this question with give me a bad name, may not be a good idea.

Out of Station

This is a phrase which means out of town in India. This phrase came into existence because James Watt wrote in his will that he shall be honored with a phrase in English language relating to the steam engine. Indians decided to honor this by considering every town as a Station, the way the railways regard it to be.

The actual reason for the use of this phrase goes to the days of the East India company where officers were posted on particular stations.

Give an Exam

Teachers give exams to students, but in India, it is somewhat the other way around. Here students give exams (to teachers?).It is because we have a very strong give and take policy here. The validity of the above statement can be proved from the following statements : 

Students take knowledge from teacher, they give it back in examinations. 

Thus students give exams.

 (Q.E.D)

While there are a lot of phrases that are unique to India the above three are my favorites. In an attempt to shorten my posts I am concluding here.

P.S On an entirely different note you might want to read the first part of Mind Your Language here.

Blogcode (Part2)

As my vacation begins, boredom kicks in, in search for something better to litter blogosphere, I decided  on writing a sequel to my older post Blogcode which was my first post on this blog.
As a blog grows most some bloggers find difficulty in penning down quality content. As far as blogging goes most bloggers still maintain that content is king, which is why we see most bloggers bringing out quality content like this blog right here. ;)  This is the main focus of this edition of Blogcode.

Article 1: Lists Tags and other random stuff
If you're out of content to write, then lists provide an excellent getaway. Not any moron can write a list you know. Common lists include top 5/10/25/100 movies/ movie dialogues/ soaps/ other trivial matter that everybody cares... If you're too narcissistic then you could go about making an about me list as well since blogger does put a 1500 word limit on your about me column, you could enhance it with things I like/ hate/ don't care list. Almost all lists have a superlative label about them like the best movie dialogues or the best food I ate or something on a similar note  . We live in an era of superlatives where every advertised product claims the best in its genre, since superlatives are overused in this era, people also go about extravagantly exaggerating things, we see phrases like very unique or most excellent or extremely brilliant being used.
Tagging is a random act of kindness in blogosphere where you get to nominate bloggers other than yourself to write lists of important issues concerning the world. Almost anybody can begin the tag chain and number of bloggers tagged should grow exponentially unless someone decides otherwise.

Article 2: The Writers Block
Whether you have it or not writer's block gives you a one-time pass for writing a content less post in blogosphere. Use it carefully and do not abuse the writer's block, Bloggers Anonymous (B.A) was formed for this very purpose. For claiming the writer's block however, you should have a decent number of followers and you should have posted at least a double digit number of posts otherwise you'll end up sounding stupid. (I've been there, tried claiming writer's block with about 2 followers both of whom were my friends who ultimately asked why blog when you have the writer's block, so you see the timing of making a claim such as the writer's block is really really important).

 A new phenomenon that has surfaced in this context is the writer's clock, which  Judy Balan gracefully describes as an illness gripping writers where difficulty is encountered in bringing out reader friendly content by beating the clock.

Article 3: The Awards Galore
Awards are an excellent way to gain followers and the much needed love in Blogosphere.  A blogger award could vary from something lifted off from google image search/ someone else's blog to skillfully edited images. Awarding is also sometimes a more refined form of tagging, where the greatest of the minds in blogosphere get recogonised for their contributions. Since most of the blogosphere believes in returning a favour, you are very likely to get one back when you give one.

P.S  Another way to avoid the writer's block is to come up with a content-less post like this one ...

The fun time gala ends here (the Ragam Diaries 2010)

March 24-27th marked the annual cultural festival of our college, Ragam 2010.This year's Ragam included shows from KK, Naresh Iyer and a UK based Iron Maiden tribute band Higher on Maiden.

                 This is the third edition of Ragam, I'm attending and the penultimate one before I leave this place.  While the external participation was remarkably lower this time around, and the pro-shows (shows from professional performers) this year not be as glamorous as last year's line up (which included Benny Dayal, Shankar Mahadevan and a Pink Floyd tribute band Breathe the Floyd). Maybe comparison with the previous edition was one of the reasons why this edition of our college's cultural festival was bit relatively duller than expected. However with every Ragam comes memories that are reminiscent of college life, moments that are sure to make you nostalgic once you take a trip down the memory lane.

KK rocked the floor on day1 ending the night on a high with his personal best " Koi Kahe". Naresh Iyer's performance had something in it for everybody. He nearly covered all south Indian languages besides performing the usual bollywood hits. However stage acoustics were bit of a bother on day2 and the sound engineer and the routine sound checks took away a major chunk of time. Day 2 also featured choreo nite which set the dance floor for those who knew to rock the stage.

Day 3 was a head banger's paradise with the UK based higher on maiden taking the stage. This day also featured the fashion show, Couture Boulevard (which strangely, no one knew how to pronounce) Since our cultural festival essentially followed the same pattern over the years, the crowd attending the rock show can be widely classified into three

Head-bangers type-I: True metal heads, in this case true maiden fans, they know which song is being played, which album it comes from and all related stuff.

Head-bangers type-II: Pseudo metal heads, not true rock fans but they do want to appear cool in front of everybody, thus the head banging.

Non headbangers: People who watched from a distance away from the scene of action. A major section also included people who came for fashion show instead, just waiting for the rock band's gig  to get over.

Almost every night ended with the artists saying the unavoidable cliché that this was the best crowd ever. Of course we don't know if they actually meant it, but it has become a routine in stage shows of late.

The third day of Ragam ended with the fashion show. The number of  teams were relatively lesser this time, probably the timing was not right considering that most colleges had their university exams this time around.  With the college director doing the final honours, this edition of Ragam came to a close, adding more colourful memories of college life with it. I knew for a fact now that how much ever I criticise my college, one day I will end up missing it.

The Fourth Reich (a.k.a the tag post)

Tagging v. A  gripping game played in the Blogosphere where bloggers link with each other for no apparent reason. From  The International dictionary of Blogosphere.

Recently I've been tagged by The Restless Quill. In fact, I  received a message whose contents were the following.

Dear fellow blogger,

You have been invited to join an ominous cabal of bloggers who wish to pass their time by tagging each other. The encumbrance of this task lies upon you to continue this revered tradition of tagging 7 people in blogosphere. We are in the process of creating the fourth Reich in blogosphere, so tag along.

Regards

The Oracle

It didn't look like I had an option otherwise. I finally decided to join the tagging bandwagon and hence this post.


Rules
Reveal 7 random things about yourself.
1) You have to tag 7 people.
2) You have to link their pages in  your tag post
3) You  have to leave a comment in their comments section telling them they've been tagged.
4) You have to say who tagged you.

As a creator's tribute you might have to copy paste these 4 rules on your blog enforcing the tag on innocent bloggers who visit your post. Also note that you should reveal random things about yourself.By tagging 7 people you are in process of creating a cult of bloggers thus forming the fourth Reich in the empire of Blogosphere.

So here goes the random confessions...

1. I'm a narcissist. I authored a book called I, me, myself: the tales of a narcissist and ended up not publishing it because I thought I should be the only one reading it. I also authored the Blogcode which is an incomplete set of documented rules governing the blogosphere.

2.I believe that everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known. 
(With due respects to Scott Fitzgerald and the Great Gadsby)


3.I'm no grammar nazi, but I prefer to atleast do justice to this language rather than eating letters of words. I sincerely believe that the Shakespearean version of Romeo and Juliet sounds better than the neo-lingual version

 Romeo- Yo Julie, wassup.??????:
 Juliet- (ROFL) dude u rock.Oh no,dad cming, TTYL.

All credits to Damu for this comment.

4. I am still a pariah at social networking though many of my posts have been pertaining to it. I am still to get my footing firm on twitter, I don't seriously believe tweeting what I had for lunch makes sense, may be twitterati read my post on twitter.

5. I've been well trained in the graceful art of plagiarising assignments and delaying things to the end. In fact, this free skill training package was activated upon joining college (engineering in particular).

6.I am a heavy caffeine addict, since my college mess's coffee standards are comparable to mucky water a major deal of my pocket expenses go towards the the coffee fund.

7.I can write vivaciously verbose posts with absolutely no content in them. I believe the readers of my blog are well aware of this. Thank you for the visit :) 


Now the tags go to
1. Damu of Random Rants of a Raving Raconteur,a fellow vegan, my best friend and a follower of yours truly's blog ever since its inception.
2. mK of http://themeekkaiser.blogspot.com/, who shall justify the relevance of this post-title.
3. Laafatlife at http://laafatlife.wordpress.com/ , visit with caution; high humour content
4. Journomuse of the blog Word Sketches , a blog which paints word sketches of top quality. Kind of blog that justifies that the pen can pull off better works than the paintbrush.
5.Lazy pineapple of http://www.lazypineapple.com/,  a humour blog that is addictive to read
6.Varsh at Food For thought a constantly updated blog with a variety of subjects
7.Nish , whose blog is fun to read...

Join the cult, tag along.

P.S : Most of the work in this blog is purely a figment of my imagination.

Toodles

The Analyst

Tomorrow Never Dies

Since I have been a proponent in the ancient art of delaying things, I thought I might very well design a course for it after having seen and slept through various courses in college. This is a rough draft of how a course plan on this art form would look like:

For all those who worship laziness this is my tribute

Procrastination 101

Course Code : Dilly Dally 101- D101D 
[ in the land of palindrome-speak, loosely translated - language called malayalam, the author wishes to acknowledge his obsession with palindromes with an innovative course code]

Prerequisites : Laziness (the  inherent sixth sense in most people, at least in my college)

Guidelines:

Later is a period of infinite span in the Procrastination dictionary it may range anywhere between few hours later to, um...well until death.

Soon in the Procrastination dictionary refers to a period somewhere in the near future just before the deadline.

Usage:

• Details regarding the course plan shall be put up soon
• Students attending this course should fill out the registration form and register sometime later.

Course Outline

Module 1:  Procrastination through history, Procrastination through ages, the essential procrastination vocabulary- Later, Eventually, I'm busy right now, Let's see , There is nothing wrong with the way it is now..,New additions -aal izz well, the act of forgetting due dates, submissions

Module 2: Procrastination in modern age : Internet- a procrastinator's paradise, the tools for procrastination-  Social Networking- facebook - the art of spamming other's walls, orkut, the most gripping form of procrastination yet-twittcrastination - procrastination enabled by twitter, Other addictive tools - PSP, blogging, free messaging services (subject to service availability, applies to college students only), Playstation, DOTA

Update: The newest avatar of Procrastination yet: Google Buzz, Ladies and Gentlemen, take a bow


Module 3: Common phrases used in the eleventh hour, Damn it! - the essential addition to the procrastination vocabulary, list of things/tools/objects that you could throw around yelling damn it! , Probability of the fact that the object thrown = object needed, frustration, the act of yelling at everything to melt down your frustration

Module 4: Fake words used to prevent procrastination - just do it (courtesy of nike, probably), Widespread applications - the ease of break ups due to procrastination, improving skills at plagiarising assignments, homeworks, stress time skills - the art of creating presentations on the night before the deadline

List of Textbooks and References to be published soon.

Famous Quotations:

I took Procrastination 101 in college and the teacher would walk in everyday and say, "Yeah! We'll do something tomorrow"

-Russell Peters in Show me the funny

[No copyright infringement intended here]



P.S : I had a plan to post the above blogpost a lot earlier, sorry for the inevitable delay due to twittcrastination

P.P.S: I know this tests your patience, but stating the mandatory disclaimer- No offence is intended to any individual(s) or organisation  by the means of this post

P.P.S : Recently I've been diagnosed with HCD (the Human Commento -Deficiency) Virus, (a variant of desperate attention seeker virus, in non medical terms) To cure me of this illness please leave a comment, I shall be eternally grateful.