A new moon eclipses breaking dawn

Fans of the Series Twilight keep off this post and no offense is intended. Most of this post is just meant as a way to kill boredom.

What you can infer from reading Twilight series.

1. Vampires are described in a complete way by various combinations of "beauty", "perfect", "graceful", "dazzling" etc. In fact if we were to cut out these adjectives, the vampires in Twilight series wouldn't exist.

2. Contrary to what SM mentioned in the first book or so, talented vampires are very very common as is proved in Breaking Dawn. In fact you could be the most powerful vampire if your most powerful skill is being depressed.

!!! Spoiler Alert !!!

3. If you're entangled in a love triangle of some sort and you don't get the girl; don't worry, just hang around till your (ex)lover has a kid, there is a very real possibility that you might fall into love with the baby. Ms. Meyer found a once and for all solution for ending a love triangle that spanned over two entire fully blown Twilight novels with this idea.

4. 700 pages of Breaking Dawn goes in the buildup of a Vampire War that never takes place. 

5. SM does put a lot of research in to her works. Biologists might feel offended by the fact that Werewolves have 24 chromosomes (while Google search reveals otherwise; apes might as well be their distant cousins for all we know) and the fact that an average of chromosome pairs are produced in the progeny (Seriously isn't gene theory that simple?).

6. Contrary to popular claims; Twi-light does NOT mean light in Twitter, in fact if anything it refers to the darkness plaguing the Internet forums of late.

7.Bella is an ordinary girl, your average girl next door, and she does not deserve some perfect vampire, over 1000 pages or three and a half novels of the Twilight series revolve around this one core idea.

Comments on the Twilight Series

Movie Spin-offs based on the Twilight

P.S Sincerely hope Buffy saves us from this menace

P.P.S No offense is intended to anyone by means of this post.It is just meant as a fun way of looking at things

Tomorrow Never Dies

Since I have been a proponent in the ancient art of delaying things, I thought I might very well design a course for it after having seen and slept through various courses in college. This is a rough draft of how a course plan on this art form would look like:

For all those who worship laziness this is my tribute

Procrastination 101

Course Code : Dilly Dally 101- D101D 
[ in the land of palindrome-speak, loosely translated - language called malayalam, the author wishes to acknowledge his obsession with palindromes with an innovative course code]

Prerequisites : Laziness (the  inherent sixth sense in most people, at least in my college)

Guidelines:

Later is a period of infinite span in the Procrastination dictionary it may range anywhere between few hours later to, um...well until death.

Soon in the Procrastination dictionary refers to a period somewhere in the near future just before the deadline.

Usage:

• Details regarding the course plan shall be put up soon
• Students attending this course should fill out the registration form and register sometime later.

Course Outline

Module 1:  Procrastination through history, Procrastination through ages, the essential procrastination vocabulary- Later, Eventually, I'm busy right now, Let's see , There is nothing wrong with the way it is now..,New additions -aal izz well, the act of forgetting due dates, submissions

Module 2: Procrastination in modern age : Internet- a procrastinator's paradise, the tools for procrastination-  Social Networking- facebook - the art of spamming other's walls, orkut, the most gripping form of procrastination yet-twittcrastination - procrastination enabled by twitter, Other addictive tools - PSP, blogging, free messaging services (subject to service availability, applies to college students only), Playstation, DOTA

Update: The newest avatar of Procrastination yet: Google Buzz, Ladies and Gentlemen, take a bow


Module 3: Common phrases used in the eleventh hour, Damn it! - the essential addition to the procrastination vocabulary, list of things/tools/objects that you could throw around yelling damn it! , Probability of the fact that the object thrown = object needed, frustration, the act of yelling at everything to melt down your frustration

Module 4: Fake words used to prevent procrastination - just do it (courtesy of nike, probably), Widespread applications - the ease of break ups due to procrastination, improving skills at plagiarising assignments, homeworks, stress time skills - the art of creating presentations on the night before the deadline

List of Textbooks and References to be published soon.

Famous Quotations:

I took Procrastination 101 in college and the teacher would walk in everyday and say, "Yeah! We'll do something tomorrow"

-Russell Peters in Show me the funny

[No copyright infringement intended here]



P.S : I had a plan to post the above blogpost a lot earlier, sorry for the inevitable delay due to twittcrastination

P.P.S: I know this tests your patience, but stating the mandatory disclaimer- No offence is intended to any individual(s) or organisation  by the means of this post

P.P.S : Recently I've been diagnosed with HCD (the Human Commento -Deficiency) Virus, (a variant of desperate attention seeker virus, in non medical terms) To cure me of this illness please leave a comment, I shall be eternally grateful.